What do you think????

I like this context in a way that you give vivid descriptions of what is going on, including the powerful diction and connections you made between reality and your subconsciousness. I'd prefer it if it had been a story because the lines have too many words and there's no usage of rhyme. I'm not saying that in order to write a poem, it must have rhythm, it could be a free verse as well. I love your use of bold adjectives and descriptive nouns and verbs. If you had made this a story, it would've been so engaging to read it. I like how you relate this to the darker side of your soul, giving constant flashbacks and scenes. It gives a very brooding picture of religion and I understand how the guilt of sin lingers inside our heart.